"Ask Me If I Care"

If you were to ask me if I care I would have to say “YES” and “NO”. Yes, I care enough about the plight of God’s people to speak out as a watchman upon the wall; however, though the watchman is constrained by the love of God to speak out, each one must come to a place where they no longer care about what other people think of them if they ever hope to be effective. When it comes to what others think about them, they can't afford to care. As Paul once said about his critics, “But with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged by you, or by man's judgment:”

To be sure, they have their moments of weariness and discouragement. I’ve found myself sitting in the cave with Elijah on occasion nursing the same self-pity and discouragement. But then, His “still small voice speaks” and I arise and go forth once more. I am far more concerned with what God thinks than what man thinks.

No longer caring about what others think about me is not the result of arrogance, cold-heartedness or callous indifference. It is merely the sober acceptance of spiritual reality. It is very much akin to finally accepting the futility of “casting your pearls before swine.” No watchman worth his salt can afford to be intimidated by church critics. I no longer care about the insidious conspiracy of silence that prevails in most churches or the fear of ministerial threats, censorship or condemnation.

Attempts to stifle, suppress or stigmatize the watchman’s word fall on deaf ears. Quite frankly, I’ve heard all of their tired old arguments and pro-churchanity platitudes ad nauseum. I’m no longer surprised that the majority don’t get and won’t get it because they do not have ears to hear. I no longer have any vested interest in trying to reform churchianity from within. It is a exercise in futility and a fool’s errand. As for me, I’ve reached the point as a watchman where I don’t even care that I don’t care because we know that God has called us for such a time as this.

Unlike so many self-promoters today who hunger and thirst for fame and recognition, these mean nothing to the watchmen. I am not a serial collector of Facebook friends or seeking to be a social media star. Unlike those who strive to shine rather than serve, true watchmen are content to stand alone. They don’t care about their 15 minutes of fame. They are not lusting for “likes”, “Loves” or “I care’s” on their posts. They are not trying to start the latest church fad or fan the flames of church hype. The praises of men mean nothing to them.

They know that they will never be famous, trendy or the latest sensation. They know that being a watchman is not a path to popularity. Making a name for themselves is not their goal. The whole concept of “What’s in it for me” is anathema. They know that the call of a watchman is a call to rejection, scorn, and contempt. They don’t care what they call them, how they label them or how many agree with them.

As for me, I could care less for fame and fortune. I’ve already had my 15 minutes of fame. I’ve hob-knobbed with “big names“ and church celebrities. I’ve done the fads and hype. I’m not in it for the money. I’m not looking for a position. I’m not trying to line up a book deal for the next best-seller. I’m not seeking a social media following. I’ve been there and done all that and can say in hindsight, “It’s much ado about nothing”. At this late stage in my life, I can say along with Paul, “I count them as dung that I might gain Christ.”

It took me many years and countless trips around the church block to arrive at the place I find myself now. I had to learn many hard lessons in the wilderness of churchanity. I had to get bloodied in the church meat-grinder. I had to make many trips to God’s laundromat and the washing of the water of the Word. I had to spend long seasons stuck on spin cycle going in endless circles as well. So, now I have nothing to lose or to gain except His words, ‘Well done thou good and faithful servant.” Until then, you can take the whole world but give me Jesus. Until then I strive to speak as the oracles of God according to the ability which God has given me come hell or high water. - (I Peter 4:11)